Photo of woman in brown hat and denim jacket looking out over water. — Journal prompts for perfectionists

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Perfectionism journal prompts

I saw a Gloria Steinem quote that said, “Perfectionism is internalized oppression,” and I thought, “Ugh, that is, unfortunately, very true for me.” It took me many years to realize that my perfectionism stemmed from a traumatic childhood. In fact, it took me many years to even realize that my childhood was traumatic. (You can read a little more about that in my post on What I Wish I Knew Earlier about Healing Psychological Trauma if you’d like.) When I accepted and began to process the ways in which my childhood traumatized me, it was easier to see the ways that I continued to function by the rules of my childhood. In childhood “perfect” behavior was required from me in order to “earn” love and the right to have emotions, set boundaries, and be my own person. The rules were always unclear and ever-changing, and even if they had been clear, I would never have been able to live up to them. The end result was that I continued to endlessly strive to be more and more perfect in every facet of life to earn love and the right to simply be a human with my own emotions, body, and opinions. I’m very much still a recovering perfectionist, but I know that I have the tools now to continue to step away from perfectionistic tendencies and it’s something I’m actively working on.

These journal prompts are designed to help you explore what your perfectionism looks like and the “whys” behind your perfectionism. I hope they’re helpful to you on your journey to overcome perfectionism!

Journal prompts for perfectionism

Use all of these journal prompts for perfectionism, or simply choose the perfectionism journal prompts that look most helpful to you. There’s no right way to journal, and there’s no right way to use these journal prompts. This is your time to explore however you would like.

How do you define perfectionism?
If you were perfect, what would that look like?
Did your parent, parents, caregivers, or important role models early in your life exhibit perfectionistic behavior in one or more facets of life? Write about any important figures in your early life who engaged in perfectionistic behavior. What role did this person have in your life? What things was this person perfectionistic about? How did this person express their perfectionism (i.e., how did you know they were being perfectionistic?)? Did this person require perfection from you in one or more facets of life? How did this make you feel when you were a child? How did this impact you when you were a child? How did this impact you at earlier times in your life? How does this impact you now? Why do you think this person engaged in this perfectionistic behavior?
What aspects of the culture and sub-cultures that you live in influence how you define perfection and what you feel the need to be perfect about?
What types of situations or facets of life (work, home, romantic relationships, friendships, eating, exercise, health, etc.) bring out the desire to be perfect? How does your desire to be perfect in these areas show up in your behavior?
What is your earliest memory about feeling the desire to be perfect? Right down everything you can remember about this memory and how you felt.
How has perfectionism helped you in your life? When answering this question, think about your life over time, not just your life right now.
How has perfectionism hurt you in your life? When answering this question, think about your life over time, not just your life right now.
What has perfectionism held you back from trying? What would you try if you knew you would succeed?

Photo of woman holding piece of paper, head tilted to side, one hand resting on side of her head. — *Photo WavebreakMediaMicro/stock.adobe.com*

Imagine making a small mistake, or think about a time when you made a small mistake. What emotions does this scenario evoke? Where in your body do you feel these emotions? What physical sensations do you feel in your body associated with these emotions. How do you respond to yourself when you make a small mistake? What thoughts enter your mind?

Imagine making a big mistake, or think about a time when you made a big mistake. What emotions does this scenario evoke? Where in your body do you feel these emotions? What physical sensations do you feel in your body associated with these emotions. How do you respond to yourself when you make a big mistake? What thoughts enter your mind?
Write about a time in the past when you failed at something, or when you didn’t succeed to the level you had hoped. What happened? How did you feel? How did others react? How did others’ reaction impact you?

Think of a time when someone you care about made a small mistake. Write down everything you remember about that memory. How did you feel about the situation? How did you feel towards this person? How did you respond to this person?

Think of a time when someone you care about made a big mistake. Write down everything you remember about that memory. How did you feel about the situation? How did you feel towards this person? How did you respond to this person?
Think of a time when someone you have neutral or negative feelings towards made a small mistake. Write down everything you remember about that memory. How did you feel about the situation? How did you feel towards this person? How did you respond to this person?

Think of a time when someone you have neutral or negative feelings towards made a big mistake. Write down everything you remember about that memory. How did you feel about the situation? How did you feel towards this person? How did you respond to this person?
What kind of mistake in others is most likely to get you really upset? How do you respond to yourself if you make a similar kind of mistake?
When you feel the need to be perfect arise, what other emotions arrive with that feeling (e.g., fear, anxiety, worry, pride, contempt, etc.)?
How would you like to respond to others when they make a mistake?
How would you like to respond to yourself when you make a mistake?
How much time and emotional effort do you devote to trying to be perfect in an average day? If someone waved a magic wand and took away the feeling of needing to perfect and all associated unpleasant feelings, what would you do with the extra time you had?
If someone waved a magic wand and took away the feeling of needing to perfect, what would be the best thing about that?
What do you think is at the root of feeling the need to be perfect?
Make a list of anything you think would help you feel the need to be perfect less often. What is one small actionable idea from the list that you made? How can you begin to implement that one small actionable idea in your life? In days or moments when you’re not able to implement this actionable idea, how do you plan to respond to yourself?